PUA Training - Why We are Different - Melbourne Dating CoachMelbourne Dating Coach


A pick-up artist (PUA) is someone who makes a conscious effort to study and learn the dynamics of approaching and dating woman. PUA’s are usually guys who lacked much needed experience with girls early on, and have decided to do something about it. Instead of relying on tinder, or other forms of internet dating, a PUA attempts to take control of his dating life by stepping outside of societies norms. But most have a tough road ahead of them.

A PUA has to put a lot of work in to get anywhere. By stepping outside their comfort zone they have to break through much internal resistance in order do things in the social world that were previously outside their grasp.  At the start of the journey guys get to meet cool girls, have great interactions, and can start getting phone numbers. By starting the correct way, the journey is a life changing experience for most guys. All is well – until they start texting girls. And so they wait patiently for the fruits of your labour to come… And the girl never texts back.

Welcome to the flake stage.

Being flaked on is when a girl doesn’t respond to an initial text (or doesn’t turn up to a date), which is rather annoying, especially when a guy thinks he had a solid interaction with her. Being in the” flake stage” means the majority of numbers don’t reply back, or reply once or twice but not lead to a date. It can be a very difficult time. But guys shouldn’t be disheartened, as most of them will have to go through this chapter. In the world of cold approach, the flake stage is a very common barrier for beginners. And even at experienced levels, not every number or interaction actually leads somewhere.

From the outside a PUA’s progress looks great – their opening, hooking and getting numbers, but the appearance of the flake stage suggests something is still amiss. For example, a girl may seem to enjoy herself in the interaction, but the next day when the text message comes up on her phone she thinks back and something doesn’t feel quite right to her. Something still hasn’t clicked in place for the guy and she can sense it. Or perhaps she does see a cool guy, but that heated spark of attraction just isn’t there.

By learning game a PUA has developed all the right actions of an attractive man, but their internal identity has not caught up to this new persona. This is a problem of congruence, and is one of the most influencing factor for getting flaked on. A beginning PUA may have the foundations of Game, but now they need to enhance the person that delivers these foundations. They have developed a flimsy identity that isn’t quite congruent and confortable within themselves. Without deep consideration of these points, long term, sustainable improvement is not possible. Without the potential of long term, identity level change, most guys on this journey may be stuck on the flake stage for a very long time.