From the inception of Neil Strauss’ famous book “The Game”, Pick-up artists have been developing communities all over the world. One of the most prominent communities I’ve has the pleasure of interacting with was the Melbourne PUA community in Australia.
The PUA industry has been slowly moving away from the mindset of tricks and tactics advocated in the game. But change is slow for lots of men. That’s why it was so refreshing to see a new mindset embraced and practiced by the Melbourne community. Let me elaborate;
All the techniques PUA’s use are delivered through some sort of medium – and that medium is who they are. A guy can be an expert at teasing and escalation, but if girls don’t like his vibe, he’s just an unattractive guy delivering techniques. The techniques themselves are NOT what makes a guy attractive. It’s the person who a girl is attracted to. This is why two guys can say the exactly the same things to the same girl and get completely different results. Learn and practice techniques like teasing and escalation all you like, but eventually, the majority of your focus should be on the inner qualities that underlie what you do.
This idea should already be intuitive. People are generally attracted to others who are centered, confident, and comfortable being themselves. Good flirting is conveyed through a fun vibe and good intention. So if you’re just an asshole, have low self-confidence, or have a lot of trouble with basic social skills, techniques will do more to hinder than help.
You may or may not agree with this, but either way, you will generally have to experience the phenomenon to fully appreciate that
A large proportion of being successful with Game is simply who you are.
The combination of being a strong, confident, attractive male at the core and delivering techniques using Game experience is a deadly combination. Guys learn pure mechanics and techniques at the start because it produces the quickest results and starts building momentum. However, guys eventually need to experience the limitations of these techniques firsthand, which should make it apparent that one has to dig deeper to experience real change, and real results.
Unfortunately there are not many good, practical guides out there for how to develop into a better version of yourself. Most self-development literature and seminars are based on ideals and inspiration, and are mainly framed around generating more income or a better career. Fact is, you can dream build about a Ferrari, or hi-five the person next to you at a Tony Robbins seminar as much as you like, all this will achieve is a heightened emotional state, which, just like all state based emotions, will eventually fade. Typical self-development literature sells because it makes people feel good. If the selling point of a real personal development seminar was “this is going to be the hardest and most uncomfortable thing you’ve ever done in your life, and it will likely take you years”, ticket sales wouldn’t even cover the venue cost.
The Melbourne Lair forum has a good grasp of literature on this subject and the community of men are dedicated to practicing it.