The most crucial thing I’ve learned in my time as a pick up artist is the art of showing sexual/romantic intent. Most dating and PUA coaches utterly neglect to teach this stage of development in men, leaving their students wondering why their not getting laid. And one of the biggest parts in showing intent is the art of escalation.
Imagine this scenario: You walk into your favourite bar and open a really cute girl who is instantly receptive. The vibe is electric. Feeling like all the hard work is already done you relax and just have fun with the interaction. You’ve met a few of her friends and she’s met some of yours. An hour and a half into the interaction, you’re both alone in the booths and you realise you haven’t even touched her yet. An awkward silence comes between you when you start thinking about how you’re going to do it. Influenced by the sudden nerves, you wonder if the girl was actually just being friendly the whole time. Doubt sets in. The vibe of the interaction depletes and the physical barrier between you both grows.
With early escalation, this could all have been avoided.
It’s experiences like the above (we all have them) that will make you realise just how important breaking the physical barrier actually is. Just think, for every minute that you haven’t touched her, the metaphoric wall between you both is getting larger, making the initial escalation harder. The can still be broken, but not as smooth and comfortable as it could be.
Using the same ideas as escalation during the day, break the initial physical barrier at night with handshakes, high fives, any excuse to harmlessly touch her. After that, it’s time to amp things up. The perfect practice ground is in a night venue, so try any or all of the following.
If you’re sitting beside her put your hand on her thigh. If you’re standing up pull her in for a light hug when the moment calls for it. Put your arm around her waist. Tell her you’re a romantic and feel like holding her hand for a minute. When you start escalating try and sense how her body reacts to your touch, it should be a clear indication of whether she is receptive or not.
To move beyond standard touch you generally need to isolate her from her friends in the venue. This doesn’t have to be far away, even a meter or two away from her friends is enough to create the feeling that it’s just you and her. The purpose of isolation is to provide her with a space where she won’t feel judged for hooking up with you. To do this just grab her hand and take her to the bar, or tell her you’re going to show her something cool for a minute, it really doesn’t matter. If you’ve created a vibe, broken the physical barrier, and now isolated, it’s time to go for the kiss. If the nerves are stifling your attempts, or she seems particularly shy, you can always tell her you’re going to kiss her first.
By learning this you are on the path to showing real masculinity, without which, girls will not be attracted to you.