Pick Up Artist and why its dead now - Melbourne Dating CoachMelbourne Dating Coach


I’ve just come back from an intensive month spent with the community of pick-up artists in Melbourne. Having being all around the world I love to see what particular communities are doing in the industry – and the Melbourne community is one of the most memorable experiences I’ve had to date. The best thing I learned in Melbourne is the concept of pressure. A concept that’s so important I decided to write an article to convey its dynamics.

Any time you show direct intentions with a girl you are essentially forcing her to immediately make a judgment call on you (“is he worth my time?”). They will make a decision whether to keep talking to you or not based on the information they have in the moment (physical looks and a small window of vibe). However, if you open neutral or indirect, you can convey much more behavioural traits before turning on the pressure and showing your intent, which then gives her more time to decide her interest level.

The concept of pressure can be viewed analogous to a fishing line in the water – too much tension and the line will snap (she rejects your approach),  too much slack and it fast becomes a boring conversation. You want to keep the line tight, which keeps her attention and draws her into the interaction. Week 3 will specifically cover how this is done after the initial opening phase, but for now, you want to learn how to set the right amount of tension from the start by using an opener that is right for the situation as a pick up artist (or possible adjusting as you go).

In the above example, if the guy sat down next to the girl on a train without saying anything right away, then after a few minutes just randomly commented to her with something neutral, he could then gauge her level of receptiveness without blowing things up too early.

We can summarise the above examples into a general rule – If your approach is likely to lead to a high pressure situation for a girl (this is something you will learn in the sessions) you want to approach with low pressure. Conversely, if she’s slowly strolling along, window shopping with all the time in the world, you might just lay on some high pressure at the start. Both approaches have their advantages.

Apart from the location and logistics of the girl (such as a train or a crowded area), there are many different things that affect your decision to go direct or not. Reality is – If you’re a classically good looking guy you’ll get away with going direct a lot more often (we’ve already covered the role of looks in week 1). Again, by going direct you’re forcing a girl to make a judgment on you very quickly, and if all she has to consider are your looks, that’s what you’ll be judged on. To be fair – you can develop a strong vibe which immediately impacts the approach, but we’ll get to that later. But for now, if you’re an average looking guy (most of us), you generally want to convey more behaviour to a girl, and give her a little more time before forcing her to make a decision about you.

Don’t get angry at girls for being superficial. We do this ourselves all the time.

Remember, even if you don’t go direct at the start, you will always show your intentions at some point during the interaction, we are never hiding who we are or what we want. All we are doing by occasionally going neutral or indirect is navigating social norms, and making it easier for both of you to meet and establish a potential connection. A large component of getting good with women depends on your social skills. As such, a guy who knows how to apply the right amount of pressure at the right time conveys his social awareness and experience, which are vital factors in attracting woman.